Feeling Insecure in Your Relationship? Break Free from Anxious Attachment Today!

I used to feel too anxious to date. Even when I got into my first proper relationship, anxiety made that painful too.

No matter how much love or reassurance I received, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

• I overanalysed every text.

• I constantly worried they’d leave me.

• I panicked if my partner seemed distant or upset with me.

But I wouldn’t say any of this to my partner because I was ashamed of it.

If you’ve been in this situation yourself, I want you to know this:

It’s not your fault. And you’re not broken.

What you’re experiencing is probably rooted in an anxious attachment style, where you often feel unsafe or uncertain in relationships so you crave extra reassurance.

And this is likely just a result of unhealthy relationship patterns you experienced as a child.

But here’s the good news:

You can break free from this pattern.

I did. And I’m going to show you how.

Why Do We Feel Insecure in Relationships?

When you have an anxious attachment style, your mind constantly scans for threats:

• “Why haven’t they replied yet?”

• “Do they still love me?”

• “What if I push them away?”

• “What if I’m unlovable?”

Thoughts like these come from unhealthy beliefs about yourself, commonly the belief that you need to earn love. But this is nothing more than a limiting belief, and it can be changed.

Your brain tricks you into believing that love is fragile. That if you don’t monitor it constantly, it’ll disappear.

But here’s the truth: this type of behaviour isn’t necessary or helpful.

It’s actually sabotaging the very closeness you are craving.

The first step to healing anxious attachment is understanding that these feelings come from your past experiences, not your current relationship.

How to Stop Feeling Insecure in Relationships

Let me introduce you to some powerful techniques that helped me:

Step 1: Focus on feeling the Emotion in Your Body

When insecurity or anxious thoughts arise, don’t fight them. Instead, focus your awareness on where the emotion is showing up physically in your body:

• Is your chest tight?

• Is there a knot in your stomach?

• Do you feel tightness in your throat?

Concentrate on the sensation. Breathe deeply into that area and allow yourself to feel the sensation without judging it.

The more you focus your attention on it the more you will notice that the thing you are afraid of is just a feeling, and it will lose its power.

This practice also helps you stay present and grounded in the here and now, and interrupts the spiral into more anxious thoughts.

Emotions are energy in motion. When you sit with them, they lose their intensity and power.

Step 2: Ground Yourself in Reality

Ask yourself:

• “Is this anxiety based on facts, or is it just worst-case scenarios that I’m playing out in my head?”

• “What evidence do I have that my partner cares about me?”

For Example:

Your partner hasn’t replied to a text. Instead of spiralling into “They don’t care about me,” pause and think:

“They’re probably busy, and it doesn’t mean anything about how they feel.”

Grounding yourself in reality and focusing on a rational explanation brings logic to emotions that feel overwhelming and makes them less intense.

Step 3: Reassure Yourself With Affirmations

Give yourself internally the comfort that you’re seeking externally.

This works because your nervous system cannot tell the difference between a real experience and an imagined one.

Repeat a calming affirmation like:

“I am secure, worthy, and loved. I don’t need constant validation to feel safe.”

Affirmations rewire your subconscious mind to create a more secure and empowering day-to-day state of being, which is what we are ultimately aiming for here - a more secure baseline.

Step 4: Visualise Your Confident Self

Close your eyes and visualise yourself as someone who feels calm, secure, and worthy in relationships. Imagine you have already achieved this as if it is happening right now.

• See yourself trusting your partner effortlessly.

• Picture yourself radiating confidence and inner peace.

• Imagine yourself smiling, feeling loved, and showing up as the best most confident and secure version of yourself.

Let me repeat, the mind doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality. So, visualising this version of yourself in your imagination helps reprogram how you see yourself in real life, which makes it easier to actually embody the traits you desire.

Healing takes time, but it’s so worth it.

When I first started trying to change and fix my anxious attachment style it felt hopeless.

My anxious thoughts felt automatic like I couldn’t control them.

But with practice, my new, secure way of being has become second nature.

I learned to soothe my anxiety, trust myself, and show up in relationships with confidence instead of fear.

Imagine how good it will feel when you:

• No longer overanalyse every word or action.

• Trust that you are worthy of love as you are.

• Feel safe and secure, even when your partner isn’t around.

You can do this, my friend.

With time and practice, these steps will transform not only how you think but how you feel.

You can feel secure. You are worthy of love. And the best part? You’re in control of creating that reality for yourself.

If you commit yourself to what you’ve learned in today’s letter, you’ll transform not only your relationships with others but your relationship with yourself.

I’m rooting for you.

Mason

P.S. If you need more guidance on healing anxious attachment, I’m here to help. Book a 1-on-1 session with me here: https://stan.store/masonsmeditations